Monday, April 15, 2013

Tests or Signs?

Last week, I had a feeling of physical pain, as if someone grabbed me under my ribs and was applying constant, painful, gripping pressure. This was accompanied by a *sense* (that unexplainable, yet knowing feeling) of material loss.  We've not yet received all the bills for a few devastating incidents that happened in 2012, so I thought the sense of loss was me projecting anxiety into the future. Meanwhile, I could not figure out what that physical feeling was trying to tell me. I asked the angels, and didn't get any answers. I know sometimes they just don't want us to know in advance, so I left it at that. If it's not clear, it's not meant to be known.

Long story short -- our home was broken into, ransacked, and buglarized. (The pain left me the morning of the burglary, so now I know what *that* meant.) Now everyone is waiting for me to share the happy ending. Well, there is no happy ending. I have faith that the next catastrophe -- house fire, car theft, expensive near death experience -- is right around the corner. I've lived this way for years, and I don't sense that anything's going to change. 

In life, there are tests and there are signs. Tests are challenges. Tests are learning experiences. Tests are growth opportunities. I've been through many tests. Signs bring clear messages. Signs are not easily mistaken. Signs should not be ignored. I'm taking this last blow as a sign.  I'm tired, I'm discouraged, and I don't have the desire to "try" anymore. My volunteer work has been draining, and my blogging is just another commitment, so I plan to discontinue both indefinitely.

The nicest thing I can do for myself right now is to give myself a break, so that's were I'll be -- on indefinite break.

In love and light,
Krystal Kay White

1 comment:

  1. Hugs Kay, I came by to share your Friday post and saw that you are taking a break. Sometimes that is just what is needed. I have a friend who lives in Boston and is told to stay inside today. I myself have had some bad dreams and the last time I had dreams like these everything went crazy in my physical life for a while. I've been resting more this week and taking internet breaks. We are all being called to remember who we are and to awaken in the dream. I'm not even at the place yet where I can hold space for others. Yet I know with dedication to my spiritual practices and time to meditate and connect that I'll get there. I'll be able to hear the cartoon music and know this is all a crumbling of the old 'unreality' so that we can remember who we are and why we are here. <3 Magena